OMG she's 21!

My eldest has just turned 21 and it feels bitter sweet. I remember my 21st well I was working in Disney, Florida at the time and spent it with friends. I didn’t feel 21, or any different but as a parent her turning 21 feels like a real milestone.

I look at the life I have helped her build and feel so much pride and joy and if I'm honest a little envy. I am sure most parent/daughter challenges are mostly  fueled by an envy we never talk about.

Managing this envy is tricky sometimes.  I don't really envy her but I envy the start I have given her and I can’t help but wonder how my life may have been different had I discovered my thing so early and had someone to support me. Then again maybe that is my job, my job was to set her up for her future, and I’m fine with that but I also want more.

As parents we often spend so much time concentrating on our children that we forget somewhere in there is also a mother.

It’s a challenging one don’t you think?

Nevertheless I look at my eldest and feel I have done the best job I could in life and the rest is up to her. I’ll be there when she needs me and I’ll also be trying to find my own thing, my own way to carve out a new direction.

Maybe now is my time!