With exams coming up and the pressure rising for our young people, have we forgotten the concept of work-life balance for them?
With Childline seeing an increase in calls about exam stress, last year rising from 600 to 900 from March 2003 to April 2004, what will these figures rise to this year? The highly-publicised apparent suicide of 15-year-old Tina Dziki last year left many parents panicking about the stresses and pressures that exams are putting on our young people.
Sarah Newton, one of the UK’s Top Teen Coaches, thinks that the pressure we are putting on our young people to pass exams has gone beyond a joke.
“I have recently become appalled at the amount of homework our schools are giving young people. My unofficial survey of over a hundred teens found that the average amount of homework is 2-3 hours a night. None of the teens I talked to were lying, this shocking statistic is true! Even one 12-year-old I spoke to agreed with this. What are we doing to our children - are we taking away their childhood because we as adults have decided that passing exams is THE most important thing in the world and that having fun and being a child is second on the list? It infuriates me!”
And the teenagers certainly agree, Miriam, 15 years old, states, “The pressures we are under are enormous, people think they are encouraging us, but there is a fine line between encouragement and pressure, and to us it feels like pressure. After all, we are so much more than the sum of our exam results, why can’t other people see this?”
So how do we help our young people deal with the stress and pressure of exams? Here is Sarah’s five-step plan.
1. Think of the worst-case scenario – I know this may sound challenging, but what if they failed everything, would it be the end of the world? Would your teen and you not be able to go on? Of course not, the world would still turn. Talk with your teenager about the worst-case scenario and have a plan for this – this with allow your teenager to realize that they can deal with the worst case and this will take the pressure off them.
2. Encourage your teenager to take up some form of exercise of movement, dancing, a competitive sport, anything. Get them to move their body; this is the best stress buster ever.
3. When your teen is studying, give them some post-it notes and every time a worry comes up for them, have them write it on a sticky note and then put all the sticky notes in a bowl. This very action will help them let go of it.
4. Encourage self-care – encourage your teen to look after themselves and do good things for themselves. Help them relax and encourage them to have fun.
5. Help them see that they are more than their exams. Daily, tell your teen something great about them, like their sense of humour, their dedication, and their persistence. Encourage them to see beyond their exam results.
And more importantly, Sarah warns us to, “Look at yourself as a parent and ask yourself how attached you are to your teenagers exam results. Be honest with yourself, are you encouraging, or are you attached to their outcome and pressurizing?”
"One of the first British parent coaching operation....Newton has extensive experience with dealing with young offenders and unlike other unscrupulous operators is properly trained and qualified" -The Observer
